btw – Anti-Christian anti-Muslim but “doubt” religious Judaism is a tad bit inconsistent. IMO you are playing Pascals Wager on a subconscious level. I used to do this myself. I was brought up Christian so initially I did believe (as a child) When I first was exposed to atheism I tried to convince myself I was more open minded than atheists by being agnostic but what I was really doing in the back of my head was hedging my bets.