God is just a concept, not a person that controls the universe. Different cultures have a different take on this concept. What is your cultural heritage?
Have you forgotten what 2,000 years of Christian love looked like in Europe, with all the wars, pogroms, inquisitions, genocides, slave trading, and the decimation of native tribes throughout the New World and tribal Africa. All the conquers that came to the New World and Africa were flying the flags of Christian Kings with the blessings of the Church.